When a fellow tells me he`s bipartisan, I know he`s going to vote against me.
- Harry S. Truman
BREAKING NEWS...BREAKING NEWS...BREAKING NEWS...
Breaking News: Orban Sprints to Congratulate Trump on 'Landslide' Win, Leaves Putin and Kim Jong-un Fuming!
In a shockingly swift and arguably premature announcement, Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban has reportedly congratulated Donald Trump on a "landslide victory" in the U.S. elections — two days before Americans even go to the polls. Known for his bold moves, Orban wasted no time in delivering his message of support, sidestepping the minor detail of, well, an actual election.
Sources say Russian President Vladimir Putin, previously confident of being first in line to congratulate his American counterpart, was caught off guard. A source close to the Kremlin revealed Putin's reaction: “Vlad was sipping his tea and waiting for the news, but when he saw Orban’s post... let’s just say, that tea is now part of Russian history.”
Adding to the intrigue, North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, reportedly miffed at being upstaged by both Orban and Putin, dispatched his assistant with a “hastily worded, emphatic” congratulations note of his own, complete with colorful emojis. However, U.S. intelligence intercepted a second message, suggesting that Kim may have accidentally DM'd his praise to a Trump parody account.
Analysts are still scrambling to explain how Orban’s premature proclamation will impact the international standings. When asked if he had any insights, Trump himself allegedly commented, “Look, everybody congratulates me. I’m the most congratulated guy you’ve ever seen. It’s huge.”
Sincerely,
Adaptation-Guide
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